Ha. I need to send this to all the morons in Alafreakinbama who refused to believe that there was a special and magical place where they served pizza cut into squares versus triangle slices.

You Might Be From Chicago If . . .

The "living room" is called the "front room."

You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois.You become irate at people who do.

You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away.

You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as "pie"

You own celery salt.

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines." ("But why don't you say it like you say Des Moines?")

You go to visit friends or family down south and laugh when they complain about the traffic.

Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

You understand that the primary is the official local election. (HA)

You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day (and seen the green river)

Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun, "everything" is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side. (God, I love my city)

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You drink "pop."

You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a White Sox fan.

You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.

You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan, and the Edens.

But you call the interstates "expressways."

You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern or Central Illinois."

You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."

You refer to Chicago as "The City."

"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in January 1986.

You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.

You buy "The Trib" and not the Tribune.

You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.

You picnic or ride your bike in the "forest preserve."

You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.

You know the REAL Mob is in Chicago.

You know what goes on a real Chicago style hot dog.

You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.

You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."

You understand what "lake-effect" means.

You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.

Going west to Milwaukee (on I-94) doesn't confuse you.

You don't care if the "elevated" does run underground.

You laugh at the word "bubbler."

You crave REAL Italian beef.

You've been looped in the Loop.

You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.

You have at some time in your life, used your furniture or a friend's body to guard your parking spot in winter.

You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a "side." Example: "West Side," "South Side" or "North Side." (But what about the suburbs? Northwestern, Northern, Western, Southern, Southwestern and The Sticks!)

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST....

You know the phone number to Empire Carpet!

before & after