God, I'm so tired. That seems to be my motto lately, huh? The worst part is that I (we?) went to bed "early", at least by my standards. 2:30! I figure I fell asleep about 3-ish (a little before, maybe) and I woke up around 12:30 when he started getting ready to leave for work and if I wasn't soaking wet, I'd so crawl right back into bed. So why am I soaking wet? Running to my car so I can fetch my beloved an umbrella so he can get into his car. Awww... right. Then, oh christ, then I made a valiant effort to take the dog outside. The dog, well, she refuses to go outside when it's raining. She just stays underneath the little foyer by the stairs and tries to tug me back towards the apartment. It's horrible. It's still pouring outside right now so there's a fine chance this dog just may not pee today.

Looking online, I just saw the hotel we're staying at in New Orleans has "spa rooms." Screw a king size bed, I want a whirlpool and a sauna in my room. Bah. Ooh, I also saw "most of our rooms include remote control cable television". That means they have rooms without TV! Hm. There is a bidet in each bathroom. Now I'm just scared. What happened to the Holiday Inn?

I prefer to be called frugal, thank you very much.

I know I need to clean but I'm sick. Like, really sick, not "I feel funny and I don't know why" sick that I've been for the last few months (ever since I went and royally fucked up my hormones and my body in the name of safe sexual activity). This is "I have a sore throat, my voice is cracking, my chest hurts and I woke up with snot on my pillow" sick. That last part was a good touch, eh? Nobody actually needed to know that (not even the person that was laying next to aforementioned pillow) but I like to be dramatic, what can I say? Anyway, yeah, sick. I'm MUCH more comfortable just sitting here sipping my ice water (I want milk and cookies but that'd require making the cookies and milk is bad for phlegmy throats) and looking at pork tenderloin recipes because I may feel up to cooking later. I actually feel up to cooking now but I want to make soup and it's not the right weather to make soup and well, we don't have anything necessary to make soup. Mmm, soup. I'm torn between making minestrone with meat (add meat to anything and anyone will eat it... well, except the vegans, I suppose) or the zucchini-potato-parmesan.

Ha.

HA!

I was going to link a webpage about bidets, lest anyone know what they are (see, I'd assume most people would because, well, I do, but after mentioning it in a chat and having 11 (!) people ask me what it was, I decided I was better off linking. Anyway, I look at this page and, eh, you go look.

"All bidet models give continuous freshness and comfort, helping in the alleviation of Hemorrhoid and feminine discomforts, in addition to reducing the risk of STD's and other infections. Also, it is a great accessory for women with menstruation and mothers with young children.  It's adjustable temperature and tough unibody construction easily installs on most toilets and connects to all standard plumbing fixtures."

How... tell me HOW does a bidet reduce the risk of STD's? How does a fucking spray of water on your crotch reduce your chances of acquiring Herpes? It doesn't.

I think I'm going to go make a link page and then finish my list and take the garbage out. Rain or shine, that's one thing that has to be done today. I prefer the rain anyway, who am I kidding? I just wish this dog would take a leak.

If you want a laugh, go type vegan and then spellcheck it. I'm out of here.

before & after