God, I'm fucking tired. In all theory, I could go back to bed right now and "nap" for about an hour but really, naps are for the weak. Well, that and I'm afraid I won't hear the alarm and then I'll be late for work and lose my job and end up in a box somewhere in the ghetto of Birmingham, Alafreakinbama. Normally I'd call you-know-who and have him call me at 1:30 but I do believe he's in meetings or some bullshit (everything at that place, even shit that pertains to me is lovingly referred to as "bullshit") right now. I could call Mom because I know she's off but she's real busy and/or not really up to catering to my sleeping needs because they went and put Dad back in the hospital for observation now. He's had like two or three seizures this week, ranging from just blacking out for a second to falling and getting a black eye on the coffee table, and the doctor said he's getting too many too fast and he's in until tomorrow. Even then, if they find anything in the tests, they're going to keep him longer. I'd like to say that I feel better about him being there but c'mon, he was there already, what good did it do him then? I hate being such a realist sometimes. I wanna be told "Nina, it's okay, the doctors will make it better" and actually be comforted by it and, dare I say, believe it? Hell, I'd just like to go to work for one day and actually trust that the people know what they're talking about. I'd like to be able to watch the news and not know they're fucking up the story every which way to Sunday. I want to be gullible and ignorant, damnit.

So, it's hot. I don't actually know if it's that hot right now but it was hot the day before yesterday. Yesterday wasn't so bad. Driving home with the windows down, I actually got cold. Then again, I get cold quite easily so don't listen to me. I am cold now. But I know once I leave this air conditioned haven, I'll be hot again. Outside of it being really hot and some of the people I know that are from here, it's not all that bad. Helluva lot prettier than Illinois. Not as pretty as Wisconsin but what is? (Tim, if you're reading this, yeah, yeah, I know, Iowa). Something mildly amusing - I always used to wax poetic about how badly I wanted her life (or least her property) and then I end up in the same exact state. I'm just mentioning this now because I forgot up until yesterday that she was from Alabama. Yeah, well, you try working until the wee hours of the morning and see how much you remember.

Just saw a classified ad for working as a nurses aide on a rig in maritime waters. You go away for two weeks and then you're off for 25 days. God damn. I could do that. The pay is a helluva lot better than what they're offering around here, it even beats what I'm making now which is pretty decent for Alabama and the lack of experience I have. But I think you need experience. Out of sheer boredom, I looked up some information on oil rigs and whatnot. Bah. "Entry level careers in the oil industry earn between 50,000 and 80,000". Entry freakin' level, folks. I'm in the wrong damn industry. Actually, we all know what I WANT to do but eh, yeah.

I'm off to make tea and make some chai before I hit the shower. Still have two boxes of concentrate chai in the cupboard. If nothing else, that is reason to celebrate. My eyes burn. I need to start buying the extra caffeinated chai. Well, that or coffee. But who the hell would take coffee over chai? Eh, I think I'm officially an addict. At least it's not cigarettes though, eh? Although I've been craving a box of Reds lately. It's been four years and all this shit with Dad is stressing me the hell out, I guess that explains it. Anyway, yeah, shower... work... fun.

P.S. - Be careful, Spud!

before & after